Change is better than the rest

In September last year I posted a comment on a piece that appeared in the Guardian by Sarfraz Manzoor about his impending isolation from the rest of his family over his forthcoming marriage. I remember blogging it at the time and focussing on the questions it and he were raising about identity in the modern world with mixed emotions.  That article ended with the wedding and I, probably like others, wondered what next.

So I was really pleased to read today’s article by Manzoor about his new wife’s decision to change her name to his.  This is a subject which in itself is fraught with difficulty, the topic for many a gender studies scholar and one I have my own experiences of. No, it’s not the classic Guardian article of why ‘she’ has or hasn’t kept her maiden name (apologies but this kind of middle-class drivel misses the point these days), it is a joyful article of two people’s desire to make their own changes for the benefit of each other. It is about two people continuing to make discoveries about themselves and their own identities change through a process of choice.  It is a story of compromise as an act of giving within a mutually respectful relationship. Most of all it is about how (unexpected) change can lead to happiness.  These are all pretty important lessons in life and often overlooked in our busy, ‘success’ pursuing lives.  We often fear change, focussing on the negative, feeling we lack choice, that it is done unto us and will make us unhappy.  But often it brings relief, can help to empower and overall leaves us feeling happier. If a change is as good as a rest, maybe this is what it means. 

I realise that at times this blog can appear slightly negative. It is not my intention but I do hope you enjoy this happy interlude.


What’s it all about?

Have you ever asked yourself what its all about? Life I mean. We’re born, we live, we die. That’s pretty formulaic and inevitable but the bit in the middle is pretty long and has no set purpose to it.  Yes, ok, this post is a bit esoteric but then that gives you a small insight into the machinations of my rather confused mind.  Maybe it’s because I am by trade analytical, some might say prosaic others abstract, that I think about these things too much.  But this morning I think I reached that point again where I’ve really lost any direction and ground to a halt.  Maybe I question too much and should just get on with things, but its hard to get on with things when you don’t understand or believe in them enough to put the energy in.  Is it natural to feel this way and if so why don’t more people shout out that they do instead of putting their heads down and carrying on like “normal”? Who wants to be normal when it is in fact it seems anything but.

Oh well, back to the grind – or maybe take a break. Hoping for “normal” service to be resumed soon.