Always look on the….

Why oh why do I do it. Life is there for the living, opportunities there for the taking, new opportunities all around to experience. So why do I focus on the negative, the bad things that might happen and I expect to happen. Life would be some much easier if I didn’t. But I do.  Today is a case in point. I’m on my way to Stoke-on-Trent to do an interview for a book I’m writing.  I board the train. We sit there for 20 minutes in the station. There’s a train ahaead “having difficulties moving” and although the logical conclusion is that it has broken down, I enter near panic: what if it is a serious incident, how am I going to get to my meeting, if I get off the train can I get a ticket refund, I can’t get to Stoke any other way so the day is ruined.  For many that might seem like an unlikely chain of events but in my mind its an all too real proposition ending in some sort of failure and disappointment. Believe it or not, I’ve got better at controlling this feeling yet I still have relapses. Some would say too often. Changing that mindset is the stuff the self-help books are filled with. The difficult bit is making it happen. And though one positive step forward is a necessary start making sure the second and third steps follow in quick succession is tricky to master and sometimes hard to see happening.  So there we go, no lesson for you all to learn or tip to take away an try, just the reality of life inside my head. I’m sure some of you feel the same.


2 thoughts on “Always look on the….

  1. I get this too, more rarely than I used to though. I received some inspiration from Spalding Gray, who discovered the freedom of letting go during the filming of The Killing Fields (see his wonderful monologue Swimming to Cambodia). His self-administered and fairly unplanned therapy for anxiety is absurd and extreme, but very funny. It only really works in context, but he describes swimming off a dangerous beach having left his wallet available for theft…

  2. You are not alone with these thoughts, mine continue to my life is over as I can’t write this book due to missing the interview 😉 I’ve done CBT but find that when I am in one of my real negative thoughts mindsets nothing can get me out of it.

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